Conscious Parenting


"There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children... one is roots, the other wings."
- Stephen Covey

Shakti Gawain suggests that the best things we can do for our children is to develop and get to know ourselves and our true nature (ego, fear, habits, beliefs, attitudes etc.).

Be the change you want to see.

Set an example for your kids. Children learn by example and imitation.

Also Shakti suggests unresolved issues, vices, fears etc. get passed on to the next generation - so deal with as many as you can so your kids can have an easier ride (hopefully!).

Dr Joshua David Stone suggests we should be 'Firm but Loving'

Set boundairies

PARENTING/RELATIONSHIPS by Jim Rohn

One person caring about another represents life's greatest value.

Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.

The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you." Now I say, "I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me".

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. There is no greater leadership challenge than parenting.

If you talk to your children, you can help them to keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams.

Leadership is the great challenge of the 21st century in science, politics, education, and industry. But the greatest challenge in leadership is parenting. We need to do more than just get our enterprises ready for the challenges of the twenty-first century. We also need to get our children ready for the challenges of the 21st century.

Excerpted from The Treasury of Quotes by Jim Rohn. Copyright © 1994 Jim Rohn International. These quotes are by Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher. To subscribe to the Free Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine, go to

 

'YOUR HEALTHY CHILDREN' Tips from Wddty

Get fit six months before you conceive. This includes working with a doctor experienced in preconception nutrition, who will assess your nutritional status and help you to correct any deficiencies, sort out any hidden genital infections, allergies, malabsorption problems or possible candida albicans overgrowth, all of which contribute to infertility and pregnancy loss. This doctor will also help you to follow a low-allergy wholefood diet and supplement programme. A recent study of 418 couples with previous infertility problems who followed this programme, espoused by Foresight, the Association for the Promotion of Preconceptual Care, found that 81 per cent went on to have healthy babies (WDDTY vol 6 no 7).

When you are pregnant, minimise your exposure to prenatal tests like ultrasound scans. Studies have shown that ultrasound has not made one bit of difference to the ultimate health of either mother or child, but does increase your risk of losing the baby. Some research has shown that ultrasound results in a higher number of small babies, delayed speech and dyslexia. It's also not particularly accurate, with mistakes some one-third of the time (WDDTY, the book).

Consider having your children at home. Statistics do not support the widely accepted view that the advent of the hospitalised birth has contributed to lower perinatal and maternal mortality rates. The Netherlands, the only Western country in which one-third of all births happen at home, has a perinatal morality rate lower than 10 per 1000, a maternal mortality rate lower than 1 per 10,000 and a caesarean section rate of around 6 per cent-all far lower than Britain's and America's. The key, according to active birth pioneer Michel Odent, is to ensure that you have an experienced home birth attendant and privacy (WDDTY vol 3 no 5).

Severely restrict your children's exposure to sugar. The most recent research shows that sugar taken in place of a well-balanced meal or without adequate protein can increase a child's hyperactive behaviour (New Medical Science, December, 1987). Too much sugar causes blood sugar levels to plummet, making a child irritable and also hungry and likely to crave more sugar (WDDTY vol 4 no 4 and Natural Parent, December 1997).

39 Determine if your children are allergic to foods, chemicals or food additives. One study demonstrated that 82 per cent of overactive children improved when treated with a low-allergy diet. Artificial colourants like tartrazine, often contained in juice "drinks" and squash, and salicylate foods, often cause hyperactivity and attention deficit (WDDTY vol 4 no 4).

Asthma isn't necessarily caused by airborne allergies, but by high allergy foods like wheat, dairy produce, orange or soy. If your child has any chronic illness like ear ache, eczema or bowel problems, suspect food or chemical allergies, get them located and treated, (The WDDTY Allergy Handbook).

Most children are extremely low in essential fatty acids, which can heighten their susceptibility to allergies. Supplement their diets with linseed oil (1 tablespoon per day) or two Efamol marine capsules, stirred into a drink, or, if they are infants, rubbed on the insides of their thighs.

Consider a substitute for cow's milk. Cow's milk blocks the absorption of iron and zinc, causing anaemia. It also blocks zinc absorption. As zinc controls the appetite, children with low levels of zinc are often picky eaters. The high calcium in milk also imbalances a child's magnesium levels, making him low in energy and often irritable. Children taken off milk usually become better at eating their greens (Natural Parent, December 1997).

Whenever possible, give your children the lifelong gift of breastfeeding. Breastfeed for as long as possible-at least one year, according to the World Health Organisation. Breastfeeding has indisputable benefits. Besides providing perfect food for your child, it prevents against allergies and ear ache, and helps to improve visual acuity and IQ. Unless you must, resist the suggestions of experts to add supplemental feeds. (WDDTY)

Get informed about both sides of the vaccination issue before vaccinating your children. Ignore the blithe assurances of doctors. America's National Academy of Science reviewed all the literature about vaccinations and discovered that all vaccines have the ability to cause harm. The UK government's assurance that the MMR vaccine doesn't cause autism is not borne out by research or the sheer number of cases of families in Britain presently making legal claims that their children's autism was caused by the vaccine. For any vaccine, ask: How necessary is it (ie, is this a life-threatening disease)? How effective is this vaccine? How safe? (The Vaccination Bible; What Doctors Don't Tell You, the book).

Moderate caffeine intake - may lead to underweight babies and miscarriages -caffeine comes in through placenta

Government suggests a limit of 300mg of caffeine per day (in total)

300mg - 4 cups coffee, or 6 teas or 8 cans cola or 800g chocolate

 

Some mistakes parents can do (according to Dr Friel, as seen on Oprah!)

1. putting marriage last - hurts kids more than realise - makes more secure situation - kids first; divorce/ leave home

2. Babying your child - spoiling doing everything - resenting and pitying child, can't stand seeing child struggle

3. Parents fail giving kids structure

4. Being kids best friend

Fine line between encouraging and pressurising your kids in a certain direction

* MOTHERS AND FATHERS

I hear every day from my clients how much anger, disappointment, and sadness they feel towards their mothers and fathers. I would hope by now we realize that our parents could only love us as much as they could love themselves. The part of life that confuses me the most is the question:

Did we choose our parents for this life or was it just chance?

I believe we did pick our parents because they were the best reflection of what we needed to learn or master in this life time. It appears that we keep attracting that same energy in our own relationships today. How else can we master compassion? When we forgive ourselves and let go of our parents and the mistakes of our past, we will allow a new space to open within us and our true selves will flow forth. (from Ken Page newsletter)

DANGER OF PUSHY PARENTS

Young children may not know better - the parent is like a mentor with tremendous power

Child builds up a fear - if loses parent is let down - this builds up pressure

Kids lose childhood? - need to mature quicker, but more opportunity

There needs to be perspective - a balance between friends, education and sport

Remember if a child loses these childhood days of innocence they can never be recovered

Parent won't mind if child isn't no.1 as long as child did his/her best 100%

Difficult for parent - fine line between encouraging and pressurizing

There can also be rivalry between parents eg. My kids did better in maths than yours!

CONCLUSION

Support kids don't be too pushy

It's dangerous when the child is trying to please parents instead of self

Set goals in a balanced way with perspective

It's not about winning or losing but it's about doing the best you can

Other Issues

Problem at the moment is that the International Sports Bodies have a premium on younger athletes. Sports like skating and gymnastics should have a higher minimum age

Funnily enough those that are most competitive don't get to top because they think they are better than they really are - ignorance

Self esteem is very important - need a self belief of being best that can be

Email me if you want to write anything about parenting

 

 

Recommeded Reading:

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents, Deepak Chopra (Uk / US)

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager (Complete Idiot's Guide) by Kate Kelly (UK / US)

Hand-Me-Down Blues : How to Stop Depression from Spreading in Families by Michael D., Ph.D. Yapko

above available from www.hawthornpress.com

Prayers for Parents and Children www.rudolfsteinerpress.com

Raising Curious, Creative, Confident Kids The Pestalozzi Experiment in Child-based Education By Rebeca Wild

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey UK / US

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers by Sean Covey (UK / US)

The Indigo Children, Lee Carroll, Jan Tober (UK / US) - A must read for parents of unusually bright active children!

China's Super Psychics Paul Dong, Thomas Raffill (UK / US) - Top secret research unveiled

Educational Partners

available from Deep Books

Links

Educational Partners

Education

 

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