Dealing with Anger

Contents

Some Quotes:

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness - Emerson

"He who speaks in anger makes his anger heard, but his words forgotten."

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. Herman Hesse

Thomas Mann said “We are most likely to get angry and excited in our opposition to some idea when we ourselves are not quite certain of our own position and are inwardly tempted to take the other side.”

Every part of your personality that we do not like will become hostile to us. Robert Bly

"When someone is wronged, he must put aside all resentment and say - my mind shall not be disturbed, no angry words shall escape my lips. I will remain kind and friendly, with loving thoughts and no secret spite." Buddhist Prayer

Do you imagine the universe is agitated? Go into the desert at night and look at the stars. This practice should answer the question. Lao Tzu

'There's a distinction between anger and hostility, and anger can sometimes be a healthy emotion. You release your emotions, you move on. Hostility is when you seek vengeance, when you want to get even. And in fact, it's now known as one of the predictors of premature death from cardiovascular disease, as much as smoking or high cholesterol.' Deepak Chopra


 

Donald Neale Walsch - Sept 11 2001 - Attack on World Trade Center

It is tempting at times like this to give in to rage. Anger is fear announced, and rage is anger that is repressed, and then, when it is released, that is often misdirected. Right now, anger is not inappropriate. It is, in fact, natural-and can be a blessing.

If we use our anger about this day not to pinpoint where the blame falls, but where the cause lies, we can lead the way to healing. Let us seek not to pinpoint blame, but to pinpoint cause. Unless we take this time to look at the cause of our experience, we will never remove ourselves from the experiences it creates. Instead, we will forever live in fear of retribution from those within the human family who feel aggrieved, and, likewise, seek retribution from them.

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Transforming Anger

..Anger is a fiery emotion that makes us cold to others. This is the mixture of the fire and water of Gevurah. Anger is also an energetic activity. Sometimes that activity is expressed outwardly, exploding into violence. Sometimes it is contained inwardly and we seethe with anger like a bubbling cauldron, or we become inwardly cold like ice.

This is an exercise to explore how you experience anger.

1. Think about how you express aggression.

2. Try to remember the last two occassions on which you become really angry. What caused your anger? Are there particular situations that make you angry?

3. The positive quality of Gevurah is energy. One way of dealing with anger is to turn it into something else. Expressing ourselves can be a channel for Gevuric energy. you could try painting, writing a story, poem, or your diary. Rmemeber that artists are often subject to rages and easily frustrated. The anger of frustration will be released if you give it an outlet through which to express itself. Righteous wrath can be an extremely negative emotion if it remains simply that. If however we direct the energy that makes us angry about a situation of injustice or abuse into worthwhile activity such as joining and working for an organization to help change the situation, then our anger can become a source for good. Many idealists and freedom fighters have been inspired by anger against a system of injustice. Gevurah is also associated with clearing out the outworn. When you become angry, try tidying, clearing out and cleaning your living space or your office. Go to the bottle bank - smashing all that glass is a satisfying Gevuric activity. Re-ordering your environment in a more satisfactory way will give you a sense of control and will be a useful outlet for your Gevuric energy. You start to manifest your will.

Source: 'A Woman's Kabbalah, Kabbalah for the 21st Century' by Vivianne Crowley, extract from Chapter- 'Gevurah -Power of Severity'


Some Interesting Info about Anger

Anger often arises when somebody does not meet your expectations

ie. I can't believe my own brother / partner did that!!

or if somebody stands in the way like an obstacle to getting something that you want.

Anger is often fear expressed - people are often angry because they fear something

eg. Fear of - humilitation, rejection, losing, etc.

Fear is ego based - People are looking externally for happiness

Rage is anger repressed.

So the key is to overcome fear - fear nothing - embrace fear

Likewise being Angry for 3 minutes leads to your immune system being down for 6 hours

Guilt - is a form of self anger - People carry guilt with them for many years - this is just detrimental to their own health

Next time you are angry - think why - then choose peace

Instead of trying to be right, try to be kind!!


 

Tips to Beat Anger

Source: Roger Dobson, Daily Mail


Violence, Karma and Vegetarianism

'When you fully understand the nature of karma, you are transformed

When you understand that when you eat any creature you will also suffer its pain, things change

Your unconsciousness hypnotises you into feeling that your lust for flesh of creatures is ok.

it is not.

The New Dawn of Consciousness is totally non-violent.

The age of violence and darkness is drawing to an end

Stop All Violence Today.

YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF'

Source: 'The New Dawn' God's Vision, by Maitreya Ishwara


Donald Neale Walsch - Sept 11 - Attack on World Trade Center

It is tempting at times like this to give in to rage. Anger is fear announced, and rage is anger that is repressed, and then, when it is released, that is often misdirected. Right now, anger is not inappropriate. It is, in fact, natural-and can be a blessing.

If we use our anger about this day not to pinpoint where the blame falls, but where the cause lies, we can lead the way to healing. Let us seek not to pinpoint blame, but to pinpoint cause. Unless we take this time to look at the cause of our experience, we will never remove ourselves from the experiences it creates. Instead, we will forever live in fear of retribution from those within the human family who feel aggrieved, and, likewise, seek retribution from them.

So at this time it is important for us to direct our anger toward the cause of our present experience. And that is not necessarily individuals or groups who have attacked others, but, rather, the reasons they have done so. Unless we look at these reasons, we will never be able to eliminate these attacks.

To me the reasons are clear. We have not learned the most basic human lessons. We have not remembered the most basic human truths. We have not understood the most basic spiritual wisdom. In short, we have not been listening to God, and because we have not, we watch ourselves do ungodly things.

The message of Conversations with God is clear: we are all one.

That is a message the human race has largely ignored. Our separation mentality has underscored all of our human creations. Our religions, our political structures, our economic systems, our educational institutions, and our whole approach to life have been based on the idea that we are separate from each other.

This has caused us to inflict all manner of injury, one upon the other. And this injury causes other injury, for like begets like and negativity only breeds negativity. It is as easy to understand as that. And so now let us pray that all of us in this human family will find the courage and the strength to turn inward and to ask a simple, soaring question: what would love do now?

If we could love even those who have attacked us, and seek to understand why they have done so, what then would be our response? Yet if we meet negativity with negativity, rage with rage, attack with attack, what then will be the outcome?

These are the questions that are placed before the human race today. They are questions that we have failed to answer for thousands of years.

Failure to answer them now could eliminate the need to answer them at all. We should make no mistake about this. The human race has the power to annihilate itself. We can end life as we know it on this planet in one afternoon.

This is the first time in human history that we have been able to say this. And so now we must direct our attention to the questions that such power places before us. And we must answer these questions from a spiritual perspective, not a political perspective, and not an economic perspective.

We must have our own conversation with God, for only the grandest wisdom and the grandest truth can address the greatest problems, and we are now facing the greatest problems and the greatest challenges in the history of our species. It is not as if we have not seen this coming.

Every spiritual, political, and philosophical writer of the past 50 years has predicted it. So long as we continue to treat each other as we have done on this planet, the circumstance that we face on this day will continue to present itself. The difference is that now our technology makes our anger much more dangerous.


Key is to become conscious of how we react to situations! - Know Thyself!

The quickest way out of stress, is to become aware of the stress in the moment - before you have calmed down with a splash of water!

Notice how you react to certain situations, stimuli & triggers. Notice how predictable we are.

Most arguments are power stuggles - who's right, who's wrong?!

Generally there are the following options when in an argument.

  1. Get sucked into the energy fighting game - act defensively and aggressively etc. - without awareness
  2. Become aware of the power struggle - with awareness, and don't get into a power struggle
  3. Transform the situation quickly - with respect, diplomacy laugh & smile - with unconscious competence (good habit or high self esteem)

So

Next time you get angry, frustrated, anxious or stressed:

The name of the game is to take a few deep breaths, become aware of the emotion, then aware why you have the emotion, then release the emotion or transform the negative emotion into a positive one (Taoist Inner Alchemy)

look at why you are / were stressed:

In the moment or perhaps later: You might want to contemplate why it happened and what lessons might be learnt, what you'd do differently

Transforming the emotions

To transform emotions you can use sound, audibly or inaudibly

and use visualisation -

Or use action -

Generally I don't recommend smashing or hurting anyone or thing. And these techniques do not necessarily get to the root of the problem.

Use the table below for quick reference guide for transforming the negative emotions into positive ones. Visualize the coloured negative emotion leaving the organ (where it is said to be stored), down into the ground. Cultivate the positive emotion in the organ.

NEGATIVE EMOTION ANGER HATE, IMPATIENCE WORRY, ANXIETY SADNESS, DEPRESSION FEAR, STRESS
POSITIVE EMOTION KINDNESS LOVE, JOY FAIRNESS, OPENESS RIGHTEOUSNESS, COURAGE GENTLENESS
COLOUR GREEN RED YELLOW WHITE BLUE
YIN ORGANS LIVER HEART SPLEEN LUNGS KIDNEYS
5 ELEMENTS WOOD FIRE EARTH METAL WATER

This is a basic version - for more details see 'Fusion of the Five Elements I ' by Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia.

Permanent Liberation from Stress & Other Negative Emotions

Alternatively you can just grab a hold of the emotion and don't let it go, focus on it with your introspection until it transforms (see Barry Long no-thought meditations for more info). This is related to the above section on focusing on why the emotion came up - Information may come up from your unconscious & subconsious- eg. past experiences.

According to Barry Long, this method can eventually free you from the particular negative emotions permanently. However it takes time, and you may need to work on each emotion individually. It may be better to work in this way in a meditation scenario - when you are in a safe & peaceful setting.

With awareness & acceptance you get insight & inner peace!

Go with the Flow!!


Above document compiled & edited by Greg Barclay - http://www.sortlifeout.co.uk

related articles

 

links

www.angermanage.co.uk British Association of Anger Management

related books:

Healing Anger H. H. The Dalai Lama (UK / US)

WORKING WITH ANGER THUBTEN CHODRON (read more

Anger, Thich Nhat Hanh read more

Under a bodhi tree in India 2500 years ago, Buddha achieved the insight that three states of mind were the source of all our unhappiness: ignorance, obsessive desire and anger. All are equally difficult to control but, in one instant of anger lives can be ruined and our spiritual development can be destroyed. Now, in the 21st century, medical science tells us Buddha was right: anger can also ruin our health. This text offers a different perspective on taking care of our anger, by treating the anger as we would a crying baby - by picking it up and talking to it, trying to find out why the baby is crying. Filled with stories and techniques this book offers a wise and loving look at transforming anger into peace in order to bring harmony and healing to all areas of our lives affected by this difficult emotion.

'A Woman's Kabbalah, Kabbalah for the 21st Century' by Vivianne Crowley

related pages:


 


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